Birth Story - #3

I can't really tell the story of B's birth without going back two weeks and a day earlier, since some stressful (understatement!) things occurred which may well have led to her early birth. I was sitting in the kids' Tumbling Tots class at the Rec Center, entertaining G while we watched LG. I was chatting with the mom next to me who had a daughter just under G's age. I noticed my phone was dying, and also that I was suddenly getting a lot of calls from an "Unavailable" number. That was not unusual, as lately I had been getting calls from a lot of random numbers and people weren't leaving messages. So I ignored it several times. But it kept buzzing and buzzing, so finally I answered with a fairly annoyed tone.

"Gretel? This is [So-and-So] at [Where-Will-Works]. Will has had a little incident, but he is okay. He is on his way to the emergency room." I gasped and asked what happened, and she said, "Well, I wasn't there when it happened, but--" Silence. Dead phone. The next ten to fifteen minutes were rather panicky as I tried to figure out what to do. The mom next to me lent me her phone, I looked up Will's work number on my iPad and called back. He had passed out while standing up, and his defibrillator had gone off. He had regained consciousness right away, but they called the ambulance and the paramedics recommended taking him in to be checked. I gathered the kids up as LG's class had finished, and took them to the nearby ER. We ate our picnic lunch with Dad in his room. The cardiologist checked him out, noted the defibrillator had gone off for the right reasons and worked just like it should, and said to schedule an appointment at his office within the next few days. We scheduled one for a couple days later, and Will took the rest of that day and the next off to recuperate from everything. No driving for Will for at least a few days, of course.

His car was still at work with his wallet, so we drove the next day with the kids to pick it up. Driving on I-15, I was listening to Will tell me a story he had heard when all of a sudden he put his feet up on the dashboard. Anyone who knows Will knows how uncharacteristic a behavior that would be for him, so I looked over to say something about it and saw his head in his hands. He got midway through telling me he was suddenly really dizzy, when his eyes rolled back and he passed out, followed immediately by his body convulsing along with the buzzing sound from his defibrillator firing. My hand went to my mouth and I scrambled for my cellphone to call 911, but Will regained consciousness within moments and asked, "What happened?!" I said something like, "It happened again!" and proceeded to hyperventilate in shock. The experience had brought back Labor Day so vividly to my mind and to see everything happen right in front of me was just overwhelming. We pulled off at the next exit and found the closest place to park, and Will called his cardiologist's office. They said to go to the ER at the hospital, as Will's doctor was there anyway that day.

Back to the ER we went - most of the way, Will kept getting waves of light-headedness and dizziness, and kept saying it was going to happen again. I tried to remain calm and remind myself that now that I had seen it occur I would be able to react calmly if it happened again. The cardiologist ended up admitting Will to the hospital for two nights as they observed him and put him on a new medication for arrhythmia. They discovered that he has PVCs (extra heartbeats that we all get sometimes but usually we do not notice them and they are completely harmless) that occur at a critical time in his heart rhythm and subsequently send him off into V-fib or V-tac. Prior to the ER visit the day before, Will had been noticing many of these PVCs for a few days, and also noted that they had occurred prior to his initial collapse in September. All this new information about what was going on with Will's heart, combined with the knowledge that his defibrillator was working just right, was extremely helpful and comforting, but it came with a price. Will cannot drive again for at least three months while the cardiologist makes sure that he doesn't have these PVCs occurring again on the new medication. Will and I are completely on board with that, obviously, terrified of what would happen if Will passed out while behind the wheel, but the challenge in getting him to and from work for the next quarter of a year loomed ominously. Baby was due July 28th: who would drive me to the hospital when I went into labor? How would we get Will to and from work once Baby came and we naturally wouldn't want to be trucking her around all over the place when it wasn't absolutely necessary?

ER Visit #2

Once we got home from the hospital, life was pretty crazy with keeping up the kids' activities, trying to manage the house and meals and driving Will home from work each day (one of our home teachers, bless his heart, offered to drive him in the mornings). On Thursday, June 12 (one week after Will had been admitted to the hospital), things lightened up a bit and I was able to put my feet up just a bit more - only a passing luxury, as I was planning on heading up to SLC to attend my sister Emma's endowment session that evening. I had just put G down for a nap and was reading stories with LG when I started noticing some very uncomfortable cramping that was not going away. I drank a bunch of water and put my feet up, but the discomfort persisted for over an hour. I went ahead and called my midwives' clinic to let them know, and they advised me to go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital (they don't deliver at UVRMC, so the hospital I went to was American Fork). I reluctantly got ready and packed some clothes to change into in case the visit was quick and I could run up to SLC in time.

They checked me (only a fingertip dilated) and started running tests, and noticed that I was having steady and consistent contractions. While I was there, the contractions started getting surprisingly uncomfortable for my being 33.5 weeks, and I realized they might not simply be Braxton Hicks. The nurses gave me some different medications to try to slow down the contractions, but only one of them worked and only temporarily. They ruled out a UTI, and also ran an FFN test, which when it is negative is supposed to be 99%+ effective at predicting that you WON'T go into labor in the next two weeks. That negative test combined with the fact that my cervix did not change after 5.5 hours of these contractions had my midwife send me home (despite "impressive" contractions still occurring steadily every three minutes), telling me to rest as much as possible, stop exercising, and try not to lift heavy things (including G, who had been very clingy and whiney as of late).

Over the weekend, the contractions kept occurring throughout the day, and I tried to just ignore them. I obediently stopped exercising and tried to focus on the benefit that gave me of a little extra sleep - simultaneously trying NOT to think about how much more weight I would be gaining and the impact this would have on my recovery after the birth. I dutifully tried to slow down a bit, but without the seriousness of actually being placed on bed rest, I felt silly asking for any help and just tried to make do. On Monday, things seemed to be going better and the contractions weren't as strong. That day, being 34 weeks, I also started back on my Hypnobabies program I had done I with G, and just substituted that for my normal exercise time. But on Tuesday morning, the cramping came back and I lost at least part of my mucus plug. I called the clinic, and they made an appointment for me to be checked later that morning.

After a few minutes of downplaying the situation, saying that sometimes the uterus just gets touchy between 33-36 weeks and typically calms down after that and that this was probably nothing to be worried about, the midwife checked me and was surprised to find that I was now dilated to a 2. That did give her concern, and she more strongly emphasized the need to rest and prescribed Nifedipine to try to slow the contractions down. We just needed me to make it to 36 weeks and could then sit back and let whatever happened happen. She called to check on me the next day, and things seemed to be going fine - I asked if she saw any problems with my attending my sister's wedding the following morning in SLC, and she said that as long as I sat as much as possible and didn't stand out in the sun and heat at all, that I would probably be fine. She said something like, "It would be awful to have your water break on one of the chairs in the temple," which I laughed off.

The next morning (Thursday, June 19th), as I was getting ready to head out for the wedding, I noticed I was leaking a bit, and then a bit more. At first it seemed like probably just pee, but then I noticed it would happen after going from sitting to standing and was increasing in quantity. I called my midwife clinic and told them I thought my water might be breaking (my water broke with both LG and G, so I had at least some experience on which to base this even though there hadn't been a definitive gush yet). They said to come to the clinic (not the hospital) and be checked again. I realized I would likely be missing the wedding, and packed what I needed for several hours - still not completely certain my water had broken, but starting to realize that I might be having a baby that day.

Will, unable to drive me, stayed home with the kids to wait until we knew for sure what was going on, and I drove myself to the clinic in American Fork (just down the road from the hospital). I called my mom on the way to tell her what was going on, and several times in the conversation had to pause and breathe through a contraction (surely freaking my mom out big time - she made sure to keep me talking and as distracted as possible until I pulled into the parking lot). Getting out of the van, I felt the telltale gush and knew my water had DEFINITELY broken (and had some convenient visible evidence to show the lady at the front desk, who quickly got me a nurse and a wheelchair). Since I was not due for 5.5 weeks still, they said to head over to the hospital and wheeled me back out to my van (driving myself there, which I was confident I could do as adrenaline had probably slowed the contractions down, would be faster than getting an ambulance).

I parked and walked in (turning down the offer from the ladies at the information desk to get me a wheelchair), took the elevator to the third floor for labor and delivery, and got a room with an amazing view of a field with two white horses, a couple eagles, the mountains and picture-perfect sky in the background. After changing into my hospital gown, I sat on the bed and sent texts to Will and Alena, letting them know which L&D room I was in. The contractions were occurring, but nothing very significant at that point (it was around 10:30 when I got settled). Then and throughout the entire labor, I had to keep trying hard to wrap my head around the fact that I would be having my baby on June 19th instead of around July 28th. I thought often of Emma, my sister, who was getting sealed to her sweetheart in the SLC temple at 11:40, and how I was missing the wedding and likely would miss the reception the following week, as well as a family reunion the week after, as I would have a preemie. I was having a preemie?! What?? LG had come eight days early, and BabyG had come 2 days early, and Baby #3 was coming...5.5 WEEKS early? Alena said later that when Will got there, he mentioned to her on the side, "you really think we are going to have the baby today??" It was just so unbelievable.


The view from my window in L&D

Alena and her daughter, Kharissa, arrived after I had gone through the "set up" with the nurse (getting monitors on, etc.). One very lucky item that had occurred was that my midwife had had me tested for GroupB Strep two days earlier, and the test had come back negative much faster than they typically turn them around - which meant I only needed an IV lock, not an actual IV. (I despise IVs.) Then Will arrived a while after that, having gotten his sister, Amberlee, to watch the kids and being driven over by Amberlee's husband - who both "happened" (I know better. It was obviously a tender mercy, as having Amberlee there to watch the kids and stay overnight if needed was an absolute life saver) to have flown in the previous day from Indiana. Another tender mercy was the fact that Alena had been supposed to be in surgery that day for her kidney stone (that she had had for three plus weeks, and still has! Please pray for her!).

The midwife on call was the same one who had been with me at the hospital the previous Thursday, so I was glad it was someone who was familiar with what had been going on with me. I was a 3 when she checked me. We all chatted for a while, and things were very relaxed. If I remember right, it was around 12:30 or 1 when I decided it might be good to turn on my Hypnobabies birthing track. I had been lying on my side, and I raised the back of my bed so that I was sitting up. Even though I had only had four days of practice, the Hypnobabies track got me much more relaxed right away, and I found myself going into a very "zen" state as the contractions started getting more intense. Everyone in the room was very calm and quiet, and for a long time the midwife watched me.

The contractions continued increasing in intensity, and I was pleasantly surprised at how effective the Hypnobabies program was working - I was mentally and spiritually embracing the "discomfort" of each "pressure wave," focusing on the progress each one was making towards my seeing Baby soon. I even found myself looking forward to contractions with a "bring it!" kind of mentality, and several times got very close to falling asleep, I was so relaxed. Seriously. It was working that well. At some point, they started the track over on the iPod - I think the track is about 50 minutes long. When I eventually roused myself enough to open my eyes and check on what was going on around me, my pride was disappointed to find that the monitor hadn't been picking up the contractions (it must have slipped), and Alena and the midwife had been wondering if I had stalled since they could not tell at all from watching me that I was even having any contractions at all. I confirmed that I definitely was and that they were very intense, and Alena told Will and Kharissa to run and get their lunch since things would probably be moving along pretty soon and they had not eaten.


In my Hypno-groove

After they left, I went to the bathroom. When I got back to the hospital bed, I couldn't seem to get comfortable and the contractions started getting very painful. Alena put counter pressure on my back to help with the low back pain, but I was only able to get somewhat close to my previous zen state on one contraction here or there. With the rest, I started trying to moan through them but was getting more and more panicky. Alena was her calm, supportive self trying to help me moan lower and relax, but I quickly started complaining about how much it hurt and how I didn't feel like I could go without an epidural. I didn't want to moan, I didn't want to try to relax, I wanted it to be over! In one contraction, I suddenly felt Baby drop into the birth canal, about five or six inches down from where she had previously been. I exclaimed something to that effect, and the nurse or midwife reached in to check me. She said, "okay, we're ready to go!"

I asked Alena if I should start pushing, and she said that they needed to get the respiratory specialists there and I needed to try to pant through the contractions to keep from pushing. Almost as she said the words, I said, "I REALLY NEED TO PUSH." It was an entirely new feeling to me - with LG, I'd had an epidural and never felt anything of course. With BabyG, I pushed purely based on instruction, as I never felt the urge to do so. With this experience, it was an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness to my body's control of the process. I certainly didn't WANT to push, both because it seemed that would increase my pain rather than decrease it, and because Will wasn't in the room yet. But my body was completely taking over at this point and I really had no choice in the matter anymore.

Alena had called Will and told him to get back right away - he had said that their food was almost ready and Alena said something about getting back or missing it. I think he arrived after my first unsuccessful-attempt-at-not-pushing, and I looked at him in total panic. I either said verbally or just thought it as I looked at him, "I can't do it. Make it stop." I think during the second push, the respiratory specialists arrived. So with the third push, I could just let loose and I PUSHED. I felt her head come out, and with another little push I felt her shoulders and the rest of her tumble out (2:25 pm). The relief was beyond joyous at the pain being over, and I had to remind myself to be even more relieved that they were handing me my new baby girl. She was so little! And purple and goopy-white. But she was wriggling and giving a few cries, so she was in good shape. I held her kind of by my abdomen as they cut the cord (which had stopped pulsing pretty much immediately - Alena said she had never seen it happen so fast). Baby wrapped her tiny little left hand around my left index finger. They swept her away pretty quickly to give her the check-over, and my midwife worked on getting the placenta out (ouch!!) and stitching me up from a one-degree tear (OUCH! I had been numb with LG and hadn't torn at all with BabyG). They gave Baby back to me and I think it was around then that Will finally approved her name. He had been waffling on the name the entire pregnancy - like he did with BabyG's middle name but this time with the entire name, and it had driven me absolutely crazy. It took me an hour or two to actually believe we were naming her that, and I still sometimes have to remind myself that she is officially named - and to get used to calling her that (for some reason I keep having to stop myself from calling her BabyG's name).


Brand New!



They had to take her away again because she was having retractions that indicated she was having some trouble breathing. Will went with her down to the nursery and Alena stayed with me as the midwife finished up and I got to order lunch (I had only had a green smoothie and a couple cups of hospital jello that whole day). After eating, I got wheeled down to see B in the nursery. She was rooting like crazy and looked so tiny, her long spindly arms and legs moving all over the place. With my permission, they gave her a pacifier to see if she would suck, and she did so, which was a good sign. They told me they would be putting her in the Level 2 Nursery, which was this hospital's version of a NICU, but that she was doing really, really well considering how early she was.

To Be Continued...