Sleep problems, as usual

So apparently, with rare exception, I only blog when I am having parenting problems. Honestly, I have thought of posting about this for a couple weeks, but have held off because I felt like I should be able to muddle through it on my own. But things are only getting worse, so any help I can get would be appreciated. If you know someone who has had a similar problem, please forward this post to him/her for me.

Some of you may remember my FB status from a few months ago about taking LG off the multivitamin, and the wonderful changes that had on his behavior. I still stand by that experience. We had a solid month or so of improved behavior. And I reference that to substantiate that I know my son, and I know when he is "just being three" and when something else is going on. We are back to having behavior problems. I know the culprit this time - he needs 12 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period to be baseline well-behaved, 13 to be happy and helpful. For the past several weeks, he's been getting around 10. I am not sure what started it all (sickness, vacation, family staying over...they all may have been factors), but it has led to a vicious cycle of poor sleep, and his overtiredness seems to cause him to sleep even poorer. Here are things we either have always done and/or have tried to address this all:

1. Bedtime routine - Brush teeth, go potty, jammies, scriptures, family prayer, three stories, personal prayer, last-chance-potty, hugs and kisses, then he turns on his light show (lights and music), and we check on him 15-20 minutes later (when he often has already fallen asleep and is out cold). The light show-check-on-him routine seems to work as a transition time for him to calm down enough to fall asleep. The whole routine from the brushing teeth probably takes 45 minutes, give or take 15 depending on the night.

2. I wondered if this was an eating-too-much-processed-food problem, so I replaced the breakfast cereal with smoothies (OJ, flaxseed meal, spinach, banana, strawberries, blueberries), and replaced the lunchmeat sandwiches with sunflower seed butter and honey sandwiches (I tried adding variety to lunch but LG is addicted to the sunflower seed butter now and asks for it every day). I try to do healthy dinners. When he is really acting out, he doesn't get a treat for dessert, so he has been having a lot less sugar the past week or two, too.

3. I've tried to give him more one-on-one time with me this past week, and really engaging with him better during that time.

4. We've taken him to parks to get his energy out (finally got the playset set up in the backyard last night, thanks to the help of several neighbors and ward members!).

5. Nighttime potty training - he was recently waking up at least 1-2 times a night to use the potty, and was afraid to go without us, so he would wake us up each time. We have trained him this past week to go by himself at night - he is doing better, but I don't think he is going back to sleep afterwards. He turns on his lightshow and often gets up again in half an hour or so. We have tried limiting the water he drinks before bed and during the night.

6. Kids' Mellow - saw an ad for this at Sprouts market a few days ago; it's an herbal blend of chamomile, valerian root, and a couple other things that is supposed to help calm down children and help them relax. I was skeptical, but willing to try anything. I haven't really noticed much of a difference.

7. The problem most of the time seems to center around waking up in the night or waking up too early, rather than going to bed to begin with - we have tried using a little bunny nightlight that has a sleeping bunny and an awake bunny. LG knows that when the bunny is sleeping he needs to be in bed. When it is awake he can get up. But he still gets up and stays up in the morning, as I've mentioned. I have tried a reward system the past 5-7 nights or so where if he doesn't wake us up and goes right back to bed after going potty during the night, he can earn a Hotwheels car. He has only earned one car so far. He REALLY wants cars, so I am not sure what could possibly motivate him more as a reward than that.

One thing I have not successfully been able to implement is an earlier bedtime. I aim for 6:30. I can't really justify starting dinner for the family earlier than 5, though, and dinner typically takes an hour (or more). That, with the bedtime routine, and the fact that Will often isn't home before the kids are about to be in bed (so I'm getting them both ready by myself, which takes even longer) means he typically goes to bed around 7:30.

The behavior is really wearing me down. Hitting, kicking, biting, pinching, melting down, just about anything can flare up at the slightest hint of things not going the way he wants. He is aggressive towards BabyG, as well. He doesn't think rationally like he would when he has slept well, so time-outs or lost treats don't dissuade him at all, and when the punishment occurs, it only sets him off to worse behavior. Trust me, I have tried to be positive, and to shower him with praise when he does well. I try to make sure to cuddle him and reassure him of my love several times a day. I am working on better self-control so that I am a good example for him (with prayer, I am able to hold it together well enough most days, but it gets increasingly difficult). I have fasted about all of this. I have worked to be better with my personal scripture study so that I can be more receptive to guidance. I realize that this problem is more about me learning to be less selfish and become a better parent than it is about any "problems" with LG. And I know that tantrums and behavior problems are normal for a three-year old. But I still feel like I might be missing something and would love to hear any ideas or suggestions. (For those who do 6:30 bedtimes, for instance, how do you do it?)