This Sickness is Not Unto Death - Part 2

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27

I want to focus Part 2 on the immense outpouring of love and service we received throughout this experience. (Part 3 will cover Will's waking up.) The above scripture perfectly captures how I feel about my ward (local congregation). Or, more accurately, what our ward has done helped me to understand this scripture so much better. People in the LDS Church often refer to their ward as their "ward family" -- that term will never mean the same thing to me again. I want to clarify that I do not think this kind of reaction to someone in need is exclusive to the LDS Church - nor that every ward in the LDS Church would necessarily demonstrate such overwhelming support (though I believe the large majority would). Regardless of religion, however, pondering on my experience makes me wonder what I do when the proverbial rubber meets the road; when others around me are in need (of any nature), how do I respond? And my response prior to this experience may have been very different than it will be in the future, since I know that if I don't let the love I experienced change me fundamentally, then miracles have been wasted.

The afternoon of that day (still on Labor Day) was spent taking visits to Will's room (only two of us were permitted in there at a time usually) and talking in the family consultation room. Our neighbor, K, who had been watching our kids, brought A and BabyG in the late afternoon so that I could nurse BabyG, who had never been away from me that long during the day before and was understandably distraught. K told us that our bishop's daughters had come over to help her watch the kids. She said her phone almost immediately started ringing off the hook with people calling to ask how they could help. One sister on the phone overheard K talking to the kids about putting batteries in a toy that LG wanted to play with, and she told K, "I am at the store -- what kind of batteries do you need? I will bring them over." While BabyG nursed at the hospital, our neighbor took out a notebook and got more information about our kids' different allergies and what we typically fed them. People had signed up to bring us dinner each night through Friday, and to watch our kids (all four of them together, in AM and PM shifts) through Friday (including K's volunteering to pick LG up on Tuesday and Thursday from his AM sitter to take him to preschool, and returning him to his PM sitter afterwards - having to put his car seat in her car with all of that both times!), as well. We ended up packing lunches to take with the kids each day, and the dinners brought to us were gluten-free for Celiacs (Alena and her girls), and dairy/peanut free for LG and BabyG. We were an extremely difficult combination of dietary restrictions to follow! All the meals were delicious and filling, and we had leftovers each day to contribute to the kids' lunches for the following day.

Around 5, we went home to get the kids fed and to bed. Our home teacher had told me before he left us at the hospital that he left the back door unlocked and the Relief Society may or may not have come in and cleaned our house, noting with a smile, "I can't be held responsible for any of that." When we got home, the entire house had been tidied; toys put away, counters cleared, beds made pristinely. I think they did laundry. They scrubbed all three bathrooms from top to bottom. They organized the fridge! They took out the trash. They cleaned the microwave inside and out, and cleaned the stove. I was just amazed and so humbled at this significant gesture. I had been told that our neighbor across the street had been over to our house within 10 minutes of our leaving and was taking care of weeds in the driveway, and that the Young Men and their leaders showed up soon after and mowed and cared for the front and back yards. When we had gotten out of Alena's van, the same neighbor from across the street pulled me aside and noted that several men had talked about wanting to work together to finish the playset area of the backyard that Will had been working on; he told me to think (when I had time) about what we'd want done there and to let him know. After all of the ordeal was over, this neighbor came over to talk to Will and told him not to worry about our lawn care for the rest of the season; he has been over here on various days, mowing the yard, treating for weeds, and working on our sprinklers. Several ward members have come over in the past week or two to work on the playset in the backyard.

Back to Monday night: a feast waited for us on the kitchen table. Chicken, cut-up watermelon that was so sweet it tasted like candy (BabyG inhaled that stuff!), hot corn on the cob, cut-up fresh fruit, fresh grapes and peaches from someone's garden, I think 3 dozen cookies (not kidding) of four different varieties. In addition, there were cut-up veggies in the fridge, a honeydew melon, an extra jug of almond milk, a giant package of hotdogs for the kids (with buns also on the kitchen table). The love this all demonstrated was so humbling.

I took melatonin (we'd given some to the kids) in hopes that it would help me sleep that night, but my racing mind was stronger than the medication, and ended up just making my heart feel weird while I spent an almost-sleepless night replaying all of the events of the day in my head.

Tuesday morning, our next door neighbor dropped by a tupperware full of freshly made quinoa, a pseudo-grain that is OK for celiacs. This neighbor had woken up with a feeling that she should make this for us, and had had the impression to leave it unseasoned. This small act meant more to our family than she could possibly have known; to Alena, it was heaven-sent comfort food for herself and her daughters, and she had enough to season some with salt/pepper for her girls' chicken for lunch, and do the rest with sugar/cinnamon for breakfast. These tender mercies were frequent reminders that the Lord was aware of us and was bringing us comfort.

That day, I spent several hours typing up most of Monday's events on my iPad next to Will's hospital bed as he remained in his coma, seemingly dozens of cords and tubes coming out of him, his hands (of course) ice cold, and periodic beepings sounding from his various monitors. He had what seemed like six or seven different bags of fluids hooked up to him that the nurses periodically had to change out. The doctors told us that at 3PM (the 24-hr mark) they would begin slowly warming his body back up, a quarter of a degree per hour, until he would reach normal body temperature at about 7AM the following morning. At that time, they would take him off sedation and the paralytic and see what would happen. They reminded us to keep our expectations low, since it well could be several days before he would actually move at all (let alone wake up and talk to us). Ali, our cousin, went to our house to get the kids fed with the dinner that had been brought over, and I met her there afterwards to help get them to bed. LG was so excited to tell me about his first day of preschool -- he had some paperwork to show me from his book bag, and he was excited for Thursday when he could go back.

This picture was taken at my request by LG's morning sitter before he left for preschool, since Will and I missed that milestone

I brought some dinner back to the hospital (Ali stayed at the house) for Minnie and Alena and saw that Jeana (another of Will's sisters) had arrived from Idaho in my absence. She is a nurse, and was extremely helpful in getting information we needed or making things happen to help Will (and the rest of us!) stay comfortable. We decided to all go home and get some sleep that night, since they would wake Will up early in the morning and it would be a major day for all of us. So we left the hospital I think close to midnight and headed home.

Other acts of service and kindness that we have received throughout this experience:

- I think within a couple hours, our names were submitted (probably several times over!) to prayer rolls at dozens of different temples. These, along with what must have been thousands of prayers being said for us throughout the country (and beyond), created an almost tangible blanket of warmth around us, especially on Monday and Tuesday when things would otherwise have been so frightening. I felt anesthetized to fear or hopelessness; instead, my emotions rode calmly on a smooth course -- never letting my hopes get up too high, but at the same time never feeling despair or entertaining any "what if" scenarios. The phrase "perfect love casteth out all fear" (Moroni 8:16) has since come to my mind, and I have realized that that "perfect love" does not necessarily need to originate from within oneself, but can also be manifested TO a person and remove fear just as effectively.

- Our bishop came to the hospital several times to check on Will and all of us. His visits were never just "dropping in" - he stayed at least an hour each time.

- Around Friday or Saturday, the Relief Society president texted me to see if there was anything else at all that I needed. I was running low on bananas, and babyfood for BabyG, and asked if she or someone wouldn't mind picking up some for us at the store. She accepted with enthusiasm, and the asked-for items were on our kitchen table that evening.

- Will's and my employers sent lovely flowers and cards, and even stuffed animals for LG and BabyG. So thoughtful!

- After Will was home and recuperating, ward members signed up for three more days of meals and child-watching to help me ease back into normalcy.

- Will's cousin, Merrill, flew out from Florida to spend time with him when he was home recuperating.

- An angelic couple made a short visit to our home that included an unexpected and incredibly generous financial gift to assist with medical expenses. We were blown away.

- Just last week (when things have really calmed down), a sister in our ward dropped by a meal to our house. She had not been assigned or received any request to do so, but just wanted to help and figured it would make life easier for me (which it did!). That gesture touched me so deeply. Even yesterday, another sister brought over a fresh-baked loaf of bread.

"And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; 

"Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

"Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

"And now when the people had heard these words, they clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts." Mosiah 18:8-11 (emphasis added)